EXPECT UNEXPECTED

It was a long time a go since I updated my last blog last December.

I didn’t have any intention to forget my blog, as it really helps me to release my stress. But, the situation I faced in the last 5 months, forced me to keep all incident and event happened in my life as a very personal thing that I can’t share it in my blog .

Finally, it was dooms day in my life, when the company I worked for, decided to cease its operation in Indonesia.
It was started end of last year when I – as a leader of my department – got the very confidential information regarding this fact, and I have to plan critical actions to minimize risk of penalty by our 3rd party, either from vendors, forwarders, etc.
As this was very secret and confidential thing that I could not share to others – as out of hundreds associates, only 5 people knew this information - it was not an easy thing for me to act as if ‘nothing happened’ by only giving instructions to my managers to do several critical actions without giving enough information, that made them questioning the reason behind my instruction . It seems that I did a silly thing and became a stupid leader who can not answer their questions. While actually the decision we made was not under our control anymore. It was decided by global management, and we just followed their decision.

Coz we have to do actions that impacted to our 3rd party and associates, then there were many rumors issued by them, as they could feel ‘different work atmosphere’ and sense of ‘biz as unusual’ . The feeling of ‘something wrong’ will happen also can be felt by blue collar workers who felt that their work activities became less than usual situation. Everytime I closed my door and had confidential meeting with the committee, the rumors will raise. But , they didn’t know exactly what kind of scenario will happen.

All these uncomfortable situation that I had to keep silent with some unsual and questionable critical actions, beside the fact that so many associates – especially the biggest one, hundreds were in my department – will lost their job, include myself, made me stress and depression. Another fear, if there were unsatisfied associates who will do demo during closing announcement on D-day. But I tried to eliminate it, as the company followed Act no 13/2003, article # 164 of Ministry of Manpower regarding severance payment and chose the most generous package.

All depression and stress symptoms phisically appeared, from hyper tension - while actually I tend to have hipo tension -, difficulty to breathe, disorientation for a few seconds, etc.
As it happened several times in a very short period, one and a half month, while it will ruin my body, then I decided : ENOUGH IS ENOUGH !!! None of bad event in my life can badly affect me mentally and physically.

Then I learned that we have to EXPECT UNEXPECTED, prepare ourself to accept unexpected,… as once it happened, I have to be sure that I can bear it, as God will always help me to overcome this such situation.

On the way to Kuningan, June 7, 2006
07.45 am